Thursday, December 4, 2008

Reflections

I do not think I will ever forget December 4, 2007. It started as a normal busy day taking Evan to school and getting the kids ready for my in-laws to come babysit. I had a routine doctors appointment, everything had been going well and seemed normal just like with the other 3 pregnancies. I didn't have to wait long and I was excited to hear the babies heartbeat. When the doctor came in and was running the ultrasound I knew there was a problem. I have seen enough ultrasounds to know where to look for the baby and the heartbeat. I saw the baby but did not see a heartbeat. He sent me upstairs immediately for a formal ultrasound but I already knew... My baby had died. The next couple of weeks are a blur, I know I was very upset but I also tried to be strong because Evan was hurting and didn't understand what all was going on. We opted for me to miscarry naturally rather than have the DNC. There was a lady from church that had gone through several miscarriages and she came over and offered support and knew what to say and what not to say. I am very thankful that she was there and avaliable for me, although I am sorry she had to go through it too.

On December 15th I woke up with severe pain in my abdomen and assumed that the miscarriage had started but after 3 1/2 hours of severe pain (and nothing like labor much worse) Jason took me to the ER. Becasue of the severe pain they took me right in and gave me a morphine base pain med that worked almost immediatly, good thing it did because we then had to sit for several hours waiting too be seen. When the doctor checked me out I had not started the process and it was determined that I was either passing a gall stone or a Kidney stone. I was very inflammed that they couldn't decipher where it was coming from. They kept me in the hopsital over night and sent me home late the next afternoon. Then on Monday December 17 I had to go back to the ER because I had miscarried the baby.

I can't say that I understand and don't think I ever fully will why my baby had to die but I am glad I can find rest and comfort in my Creator, my Shepard, my Protector , My Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ.

2 comments:

Carly Peters said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, you have been through so much but I'm sure you've grown so much through it all. God is good.

Joy Howse said...

Miscarriage of one of our precious ones is something we never forget. I know exactly where I was, what day and what time. I pray that will have peace in the coming days as you remember your little one.